🧠 8 Executive Functioning Skills That Can Shape a Child’s School Day

Some days, it feels like you’re running from one challenge to the next. One student is melting down before the lesson even begins, another is frustrated over a small change, and your carefully planned session? Completely off course.

If you’ve ever sat there wondering, “Is this behavior intentional, or is something else happening?”—you’re not alone.

Many of the struggles we see in classrooms or therapy sessions — the impulsive comments, emotional outbursts, messy desks, and chronic procrastination — aren’t about willpower or attitude. They often reflect underdeveloped executive functioning skills.

Understanding these core skills can help us move from frustration to curiosity, from reaction to support.

This post explores what those executive function gaps look like in real life with children (especially those with ADHD or neurodiverse profiles) and offers practical ways to support them—without needing to overhaul your entire approach.

🧩 What’s Really Going On Beneath the Behavior

What looks like defiance or avoidance is often a missing skill, not a lack of motivation.

Executive functioning acts as the brain’s control center—helping kids manage emotions, stay organized, plan ahead, and shift between tasks. When those skills are still developing, even simple transitions or directions can feel overwhelming.

Children who struggle with executive functioning aren’t being difficult—they’re often doing the best they can with the tools they have. Our role is to help them build those tools, one skill at a time.

🎯 The Behaviors You See Are Often Skills Still in Progress

In the middle of a hectic session, it can be hard to step back and think, “Which executive skill is this child missing right now?”

Below, you’ll find a breakdown of the eight core executive functioning skills—what challenges may look like in real time, and simple strategies that help.

1. Self-Control: For the Child Who Reacts Before Thinking

What it might look like:

• Blurting out during lessons

• Interrupting or talking over others

• Emotional outbursts that escalate quickly

• Hitting, throwing, or storming off when upset

• Getting frustrated when words can’t express feelings

What helps:

• Visual stop signs or hand signals

• Simple breathing routines and fidget tools

• Role-playing reactions vs. responses

• Praise for pausing or asking for help

• Calm modeling of self-regulation

Try this:Create a “Pause and Breathe” routine — a short, 3-step process kids can use whenever they feel emotions rising.

2. Self-Monitoring: For the Child Who Doesn’t Realize They’re Off Track

What it might look like:

• Racing through work without noticing mistakes

• Needing frequent reminders or redirection

• Saying, “I did it right!” even when it’s incomplete

• Unaware of how their actions affect others

What helps:

• Visual checklists and self-reflection sheets

• Built-in “pause and review” moments

• Peer feedback opportunities

• Encouraging reflection rather than correction

Try this:Use a simple “How Did I Do?” tracker — where children check off goals and rate effort, not just outcome.

3. Time Management: For the Child Who’s Always Rushed or Late

What it might look like:

• Constantly underestimating how long tasks take

• Getting distracted or lost in transitions

• Feeling overwhelmed by multi-step assignments

What helps:

• Visual schedules and task breakdowns

• Time estimation games

• Using short focus timers

• Practicing “chunking” big tasks into smaller ones

Try this:A “Beat the Timer” activity — where children estimate how long a task will take, then compare it to the actual time afterward.

4. Working Memory: For the Child Who Forgets Instructions Moments Later

What it might look like:

• Losing track of directions mid-task

• Repeatedly asking the same question

• Skipping steps or forgetting what to do next

• Struggling with reading comprehension or multi-step math problems

What helps:

• Breaking tasks into smaller parts

• Using visual reminders and cue cards

• Having kids repeat directions back

• Playing memory and sequencing games

Try this:Create a “3-Step Challenge” — give a short list of directions (e.g., “Stand up, touch the board, clap twice”) and increase the steps gradually as they improve.

5. Organization: For the Child Whose Desk (and Mind) Is a Mess

What it might look like:

• Losing assignments or supplies

• Starting tasks but not finishing

• Forgetting what materials are needed

• Overwhelmed by clutter or too many steps

What helps:

• Clear, consistent routines for materials

• Color-coding folders or tasks

• Daily “pack and check” routines

• Sorting checklists for school and home

Try this:Have students design their “Ready to Learn” zone — a clear workspace with only what’s needed for one task.

6. Flexibility: For the Child Who Struggles When Things Change

What it might look like:

• Melting down over schedule changes

• Refusing to switch tasks or rules

• Getting stuck on fairness or routines

• Becoming anxious when things don’t go “just right”

What helps:

• Talking about change before it happens

• Teaching “Plan B” thinking

• Using visuals or scripts for transitions

• Celebrating flexibility when it occurs

Try this:Use a “What If?” game — practice fun, low-stress scenarios where plans change, helping kids rehearse adaptability.

7. Task Initiation: For the Child Who Struggles to Get Started

What it might look like:

• Staring at a blank page

• Delaying tasks until prompted

• Saying “I don’t know how” to avoid starting

• Freezing when faced with something new

What helps:

• Breaking the first step into something tiny

• Using “First, Then” boards

• Setting short start timers (e.g., “Try for 3 minutes”)

• Celebrating effort, not just completion

Try this:Create a “Just Start” jar — small slips with easy opening actions like “Write one sentence” or “Find your pencil.”

8. Emotional Control: For the Child Whose Feelings Take Over

What it might look like:

• Big reactions to small frustrations

• Difficulty calming down once upset

• Yelling, crying, or shutting down

• Arguments with peers or adults

What helps:

• Teaching calming skills before they’re needed

• Using visuals like emotion charts or coping cards

• Modeling emotion naming and regulation

• Providing quiet “reset” spaces

Try this:Practice “Feel–Deal–Heal”:

1. Feel: Name the emotion

2. Deal: Use a coping tool (deep breath, stretch, fidget)

3. Heal: Talk or draw about what helped

   
   

📘 The Power of Targeted Support

When kids struggle with executive functioning, it’s not about willpower or motivation—it’s about missing tools.

Supporting these skills doesn’t require a full program or big overhaul. It’s about introducing small, consistent practices that make learning and daily life feel more manageable.

If you work with children who experience emotional regulation challenges, disorganization, or difficulty transitioning, you can use targeted worksheets, reflection prompts, and structured visuals to strengthen these skills step by step.

These moments of success—finishing a task, staying calm, or remembering materials—build more than confidence. They build self-trust.

And that’s where growth begins.